The Last Bowl of Ice Cream

Tonight I had my last bowl of ice cream for a while. Tomorrow morning I am starting phase 1 of the South Beach Diet. I've been talking about it for a long time, and meaning to start, but now I'm doing it. I'm a bit apprehensive because I don't know if I can survive without sugar. And I don't like eggs. Or fish. However, we watched our wedding video last night for the first time in a long time, and seeing how I looked then, knowing that I wouldn't be able to squeeze myself into that dress anymore, motivated me to finally start. My doctor recommended the diet to me a few years ago since I'm pre-diabetic, so it has major health benefits for me. Vino is interested in going on the diet with me, but since he bought ice cream and a bunch of other forbidden foods at the grocery store tonight, I'm not sure how long it will last. Who knows, though. He might decide he likes it. My parents just left last week after being here for a month, and my sister comes in a little less than 2 weeks - almost enough time to complete phase 1. I have decided that I'm not going to give up diet soda or coffee...yet. I would dread that. Just no real sugar or fat-filled milk in the coffee.

I kind of feel like posting this online makes me a little more accountable. Like I really have to go through with it or anyone who reads this will think I have no will power if I give up. We'll see how I do with a fresh tub of ice cream calling to me from the freezer. It was mighty tasty. :)

arriving in Espana

We have arrived! By the time we left Lincoln on Wednesday morning, I was beyond tired & frustrated. We had about 1 hour of sleep the night before, the rest of the time spent packing, cleaning, organizing, putting stuff into storage, etc. It doesn't seem to matter how much prep is done before, we always end up just barely making it! To me, it was such a relief to get into the truck and drive to Omaha, knowing that there was nothing more that we could do to prepare.

Several people have asked me how I feel about moving overseas for 2 years. Anxious? Nervous? Excited? Sad? Right now, I would have to say "relieved." We've been in this process for close to two years, and it's just nice to actually be here so we can start doing what we've been preparing for so long to do.

Our first day here we spent time unpacking and settling in to our temporary home. We're living in the basement of the IMM director's house. There is plenty of room for us, and they took time to set it up very comfortably with sleeping, sitting & kitchen areas. We don't have a sink down there, but we can use the kitchen upstairs. We also have a bathroom to use. When the new IMM building is complete, we will be moving into a small one bedroom apartment on the top floor. Although we're comfortable where we are, it will be nice to finally be able to unpack completely and settle in to a semi-permanent home. We've been living with my parents since the beginning of May, so we feel a little like Gypsies.

We went to work on our second day, although it wasn't an intense day for us. The IMM staff had a welcome lunch for us (everyone brought salad fixin's) and we ate outside. The weather since we've arrived has been perfect. Much cooler than Nebraska has been. Later on in the day, Bonnie Cooper (one of the missionaries) took Vino & I and Stephanie Koeshall (she and her husband are MAPS workers here) to a big supermarket, Al Campo, in Alcala (the city close by). Al Campo is like a Super Walmart with groceries, but also just about everything else you would need. We loaded up on food for the week, which took a rather long time since we didn't know where to find stuff (it's not necessarily organized the same way stores in the states are), and we couldn't read all the labels. I'm sure the shopping process will get eaisier with time.

We took Tylenol PM last night so that we would sleep through the night. Did we ever...and through the first half of the day! We probably should have set our alarm. We woke up at about 12:20 pm. Yikes!! So much for doing something interesting today (Saturday). We missed half of it already. I do feel very rested, though.

We bought some interesting fruit at a market down the street. Yellow plumbs and something that looks like a flat, squashed peach. Both were very good. Vino says the fruit is the best in Spain, and it's looking like he's right.

I'm ready to get settled in to Spain.

closer & closer...

We are so close now. I haven't posted in a while, but I think I need to post regularly now, even if no one reads my blog. We picked up our visas on Dec. 8, and have 90 days from that date to present ourselves to the visa authorities in Spain. Our projected departure is sometime around the last part of February. Before we go, though, we still have the rest of our budget to raise (about half!) and we'd really like to get our house sold.

I'm not worried - just anxious about all that has to be done before we leave. I don't want to forget anything.

I'm starting to look at my house with different eyes - distancing myself in a way, knowing that we will never live there again, but also taking in as much as I can. I love sitting on my porch swing on a nice day, saying 'hey' to the neighbor kid. I love making salsa or bread or whatever on a Saturday afternoon in my bright kitchen watching my favorite cooking shows. I even love the familiar sounds - when the floor creaks in specific spots; the sound of the front door opening and keys being dropped into the bowl, signifying that Vino is home. I wonder if the next occupants will someday find comfort in the familiarity of the old house. I'm looking forward to finding the things I love about our new home, wherever it will be.

The passport came. Now we wait for official invitation, THEN we apply for residence visas.

Patience, patience, patience. It is my lot in life.

So here's a shocker. We're still waiting...for a passport right now, which when it comes will start off another round of waiting for an official letter. Is this going to be for us a test, a gift, or both? I have said from my heart so many times that I want the Lord to do whatever He needs to do in my life to have me where He wants me. Even if that means never having kids. Or never going on the mission field. Or being sick. Or having a stressful job. I don't want to dictate to Him what his best is for me. And I want to learn everything I can from whatever I go through. So we need wisdom, and we need to have some questions answered. A friend reminded me this morning that God's schedule is not always our schedule, and He doesn't belong in a box. So true. I want no boxes in my heart for God. He is limitless.

Today I am waiting. Yesterday I was waiting. I can guarantee you that tomorrow I will be waiting. It's a struggle to live in the moment when I much prefer the outlook of the future. We are waiting for passports, then we will be waiting for money and residence visas. None of this is in my control. Yes, I can help it along to some extent, but for the most part I am stuck waiting. Seems like this is a theme of my life. Could it be that God is perpetually teaching me patience? Am I any different than anyone else? Have I learned anything from my past waiting experiences? I hope so. I firmly believe that if I don't learn the lesson when God decides I should learn it, it will come back. Again and again.

But I'm not completely pessimistic. I'm not pessimistic at all, I don't think. I really am excited about the future. But I am not there. I am here. In a job I don't particularly love but that I am incredibly grateful for. And I'm here close to family, relishing spring, enjoying the groan-creak of my porch swing while I still have it. Maybe it's not patience I'm supposed to learn. Maybe it's contentment. I hope I get there before I leave.