The passport came. Now we wait for official invitation, THEN we apply for residence visas.

Patience, patience, patience. It is my lot in life.

So here's a shocker. We're still waiting...for a passport right now, which when it comes will start off another round of waiting for an official letter. Is this going to be for us a test, a gift, or both? I have said from my heart so many times that I want the Lord to do whatever He needs to do in my life to have me where He wants me. Even if that means never having kids. Or never going on the mission field. Or being sick. Or having a stressful job. I don't want to dictate to Him what his best is for me. And I want to learn everything I can from whatever I go through. So we need wisdom, and we need to have some questions answered. A friend reminded me this morning that God's schedule is not always our schedule, and He doesn't belong in a box. So true. I want no boxes in my heart for God. He is limitless.

Today I am waiting. Yesterday I was waiting. I can guarantee you that tomorrow I will be waiting. It's a struggle to live in the moment when I much prefer the outlook of the future. We are waiting for passports, then we will be waiting for money and residence visas. None of this is in my control. Yes, I can help it along to some extent, but for the most part I am stuck waiting. Seems like this is a theme of my life. Could it be that God is perpetually teaching me patience? Am I any different than anyone else? Have I learned anything from my past waiting experiences? I hope so. I firmly believe that if I don't learn the lesson when God decides I should learn it, it will come back. Again and again.

But I'm not completely pessimistic. I'm not pessimistic at all, I don't think. I really am excited about the future. But I am not there. I am here. In a job I don't particularly love but that I am incredibly grateful for. And I'm here close to family, relishing spring, enjoying the groan-creak of my porch swing while I still have it. Maybe it's not patience I'm supposed to learn. Maybe it's contentment. I hope I get there before I leave.